- Putting Healthy in Healthcare
- The Secret to Impacting Patient Outcomes and the Bottom Line
- A Care Plan for Health: Not Just for Patients Anymore
- Overcoming Addiction in Healthcare
- The Key to Ending the Staffing Crisis
- Why Multi-Tasking is Killing Your Productivity and Serenity
Disconnecting to connect: How purposeful disconnect can increase productivity and efficiency at Work
Integrative Healthcare: Incorporating Mind, Body, and Soul
I was the real life American dream. I had a great childhood. Went on to be an Academic All-American and scholarship athlete during Undergrad, and came out on the other side with my Master’s Degree.
I landed a “great” job in a beautiful place, bought a car, a house, a boyfriend and a dog. On the outside, I had it all. On the inside I felt nothing and kept asking myself “is this it”? I felt like something was missing. I had checked everything off the world’s list of “what to do to be happy”. So, why was I miserable?
All those years of checking things off of life’s proverbial list had allowed me to focus on external things and ignore what was going on inside of me. Anorexia had plagued me in high school, but I was too embarrassed to talk to anyone about it and thought I was “self cured” when I instead started binge eating after getting down to 88lbs. Anxiety and negative self-talk had riddled me throughout my academic and athletic career, but I thought it was “normal”. I also thought the binge drinking and blacking out in college was “normal” because that’s “what college kids do”.
Once I “had it all”, I guess I got bored. I had done everything in the “recipe of happiness” so I felt like I was finished I was disappointed that this was all life had to offer I was bored. So I found myself turning back to all the things I had used throughout my life to put off looking at myself. I started over-exercising, under eating, and drinking several times a week. I was a prisoner in my own head. And I was slowly killing myself.
During this time I was searching everywhere for the secret to happiness. I read self-help books, I went to workshops, I tried yoga, I worked more, I dated, I went to therapy.
It took several years of searching in the wrong places, nearly drinking myself to death, and destroying several important relationships for me to realize I would never find the answer until I looked inside myself. I was the problem. And the answer was within me.
Once I began to take a look at myself, everything changed. After a lot of hard work and self examination I finally learned to love who I was and who I was becoming.
Through this journey of self-discovery and transformation, I felt like I was living two different lives. As a healthcare executive, I didn’t feel like I should or could share my story with anyone. I was afraid of what others might think of me, and worried I might lose my job. I went to work like “normal” during the day, and after work I spent hours with other amazing women who helped me on my new journey. In my personal life, I was learning to live. And in my professional life I was trying to pretend that nothing had changed.
After a couple years of undergoing this amazing internal shift, but keeping my two lives separate, I started to have an overwhelming feeling that I wanted to help others, who may be going through the same or a similar struggle, to find their answer with greater ease than I found mine. I began to look around and do research only to realize that I wasn't the minority. Our nations care-givers are among some of the least cared for group of people. Sharing my story and my path to healing is my way of helping healthcare professionals just like me to find their own healing journey. I feel grateful and lucky to have found my path. One of the amazing lessons I’ve learned through my journey thus far is that in order to keep something, you have to give it away. Sharing my experience in order to help others sets my soul on fire, and helps me to remember that this LIFE IS A GIFT.