Everywhere I go, there I am.

Everywhere I go, there I am.

It sounds a little elementary, doesn’t it?  Everywhere I go, there I am.  Of course I am.  I can’t separate myself from me, can I?  For some reason it took me a long time, and a trip halfway around the world to realize.

It sounds like a no brainer that everywhere I go, there I am.  And everywhere you go, there you are.  But let me explain a little further this statement’s relevance in my life, and perhaps yours.  I spent much of my life thinking that circumstances defined my life.  “If I get a good job, I’ll be successful.  When I get the perfect house, I’ll be happy.  If I earn enough money, I’ll never worry again.”  Life was a series of “if-then” statements.  If this happens, then this.  Society and advertising make these inner talks hard NOT to believe as well.  We are bombarded with commercials, testimonies, and success stories about people who found happiness when they got (insert product here).  So, with all the evidence, why wouldn’t we think that these outside circumstances and happenings wouldn’t be the deciding factors in our lives?  Even if it’s not something you can purchase, I’ll bet you’ve had the thought before that if you were a certain size, or earned a certain amount, or drove a certain car, life would be different.

We laughingly say “the grass isn’t always greener on the other side”, acknowledging that perhaps just because something looks better on the outside, doesn’t mean it necessarily is on the inside.  But, do we truly believe that?  Personally, I thought I had learned this lesson for good when I had all of the “successes of life” (degree, house, car, etc.) but found myself more miserable than ever.  But, if we haven’t truly learned the lesson, the Universe will keep giving us opportunities to learn said lesson until we actually understand.

When I started thinking about leaving my job to pursue my passion of helping others live their best life through enhancing their health and wellness, I was no doubt excited and ready to charge ahead!  I made a plan, including a date for which I would be ready to fully deploy said plan.  And, after a couple of years of toying around with the idea and not doing it, this time I was fully committed to making it happen.  But, after a couple of months of leaving my job getting closer and terrifyingly real, another opportunity placed itself in front of me.  This opportunity would keep me in the same industry and position that I was ready to leave to pursue my passion, but the location was paradise, and halfway around the world.

When this opportunity popped up, I actually had the thought that this may be the Universe’s way of testing me.  You know, like a test to make sure I was serious about starting my own business.  Here’s a bright shiny object…doesn’t it look pretty?  Pick me!  Pick me!  But on the other hand I was wrestling with the idea that this might be the opportunity of a lifetime.  Who doesn’t want to live in a tropical paradise that people go to for vacation?  That’s in every beach scene in the movies.  That a million songs have been written about their beaches?  Nevermind that it’s 5,000 miles away from your home, friends, and family.  Or that you’ve never even visited this place.  It’s Hawaii for goodness sakes!

To make a long story short, I learned one of the biggest lessons of my life.  The Universe must’ve really wanted to make it’s point with this one as well, because I traveled 9,000 miles roundtrip to learn it.  Everywhere I go, there I am.  I will never be able to run from me, no matter how far I travel.  In this case I was running from fear.  Fear of putting myself out there and going against the grain.  Fear of leaving the comfort zone.  You can run, but you can’t hide from fear or from yourself.  The job was going to be the same 5,000 miles away as the one I was leaving to pursue my passion, but I had glamorized it and said it would be different this time.  I create my world with my perception, not the other way around.  

So, obviously I didn’t move halfway around the world.  That three-day trip taught me more about myself and what I want and don’t want than I could’ve ever imagined.  Sometimes life throws us things that we think are meant for one purpose, but in actuality are meant for something completely more awesome and different.  Such is the case for me with this life lesson.

Jessica Hauser